Talk of the town
by Mr Nuked Duck
Summary: When the Teen Titans finally get a chance to star in a famous talk show, everything seems great at first. But when three out of five Titans fall sick, who's gonna represent them in the show? And what will the consequences of this be...?
1. Infectious adversary

**At long last, here it is: my collab! I started writing this story _months_ ago when I first decided to get back into fanfiction, and now it finally sees the light of day... so to speak. Many, _many_ great thanks to my two wonderful collaborators- you know who you are. Don't wanna spoil anything yet. Anyhows, without further ado, I now give to you... "Talk of the town"!**

* * *

February: cold, damp and dark. It was a month that was easy to describe but hard to live through, and the sad shores of Jump city were no exception. Dark rainclouds covered the skies and hung heavy over the slush-covered city streets, drowning the mood of anyone brave (or stupid) enough to venture outside. Sure, they weren't _all_ bad days, but _most_ of them were. Especially if you happened to have the...

* * *

_''AAAH-CHOO~!''_

''I kan't _believe_ ve let him do dis!'' Raven sniffled hazily before letting off another wild sneeze, grimacing at the disgusting snot it brought out with it. _''Eww…!''_ After cleaning herself up and blowing her reddened nose in a piece of tissue she spoke again, a little clearer this time, ''I mean, we _finally_ get a chance to appear on the most popular talk show on the TV-network... and who do we send to represent us?''

''It'z not like ve had much of a choize…!'' Robin said and blew his nose in a tissue held out by Starfire. ''And we couldn't just decline, we had already accepted their invite.''

''Yeah, but… are we really _that_ desperate?'' Raven questioned, arching an eyebrow at her drowsy-looking leader.

''The _little _dude is the only one who hasn't got the germs.'' Cyborg shrugged and pulled his blankets closer, warming his robotic body as he snuggled into the common-room couch. ''Had to send _someone_!''

_''Beast boy isn't just __**someone**__…!''_ Raven mumbled to herself as she accepted another cup of tea from her Tamaranean sister. ''I still say we should have sent Starfire!_ What with her being immune and all...!''_

''Out of the questioning! I could never abandon my friends when they need me the most!'' Starfire protested firmly, looking most determined as she stood in front of the three "sickos" on the couch. ''I promise you, friend Raven; I shall stay by your side until this infectious adversary has been defeated!''

''It's a _flu_, Starfire!'' Raven deadpanned, looking up from her tea. ''Give it a couple of days and it'll be as if it never happened. It's not like it's the end of the world or anything… _again_.''

The alien princess just smiled warmly at the empath and patted her on the head before flying off to hand Robin more tissues.

_''Robin never would have let her go alone, what with all those **fanboys** in the audience.''_ Cyborg whispered to the Goth, ogling at the two lovebirds on the other side of the couch. _''Besides, I don't think Starfire knows what a talk-show is, much less what to do at it.''_

''She'd still make a better representative than "Mr. Whoopee cushion"!'' Raven responded with a frown as she straightened out her ruffled Goth-cut.

''Still mad about that, huh?'' Cyborg grinned knowingly at the pale girl.

''I make it a principle not to linger on the past.'' Raven stated matter-of-factly, ignoring Cyborg's cheeky grin as she took another sip of tea. ''I'm just saying; this could have a very dangerous affect on the team's reputation!''

''Meh!'' the metal-man shrugged. ''What's the worst that could- _Mmmphf!_''

''Don't. Say it!'' Raven warned, removing the black energy-tape from his mouth with a painful _rip_. ''I know from personal experience that there is no telling _what_ that boy can mess up when he really puts his mind into it! Or, you know, the opposite...!''

''True words!'' Cyborg chuckled as he massaged his smarting lips. ''All too true…!''

''Sch!'' Starfire hushed and pointed at the giant TV-screen before them. ''It's starting!''

* * *

_''Aaaaand we're back!'' _The blond hostess' cheery declaration was met by intense cheering from the studio audience. _''Hiya, viewers! And welcome back to another episode of "The show"!''_

''How _very_ original...!'' Raven mumbled sarcastically, earning her yet another "shush" from the alien redhead. _'That being said, doesn't that hostess look an awful lot like Kitten...?'_

Robin shuttered for some reason...

_''This evening we have a very special guest!''_ said hostess continued, never letting up on her big, cheery, overkill smile that could be seen on multiple TV-screens in the background. _''From the notorious T-tower in Jump City, I give to you: the one, the only… shape-shifting changeling… Beast boy!''_

The crowd let out a massive wave of- according to Raven –_undeserving_ cheer as the changeling entered the stage, waving and smiling at the audience. Instead of his usual doom-patrol uniform, he was wearing a wine-purple T-shirt, black cargos and white sneakers. He had been trying to get a more casual feel to his look and had actually succeeded pretty well. The crowd seemed to like it anyway...

The green changeling kept waving and smiling as he made his way up the stage towards the small, furnished area where he would be interviewed. He was supposed to sit in the big, white sofa that was placed there- next to the blond hostess –and answer a bunch of questions. Nothing too advanced, he had been told before the show started. Just simple, random questions about his life with the Titans and things like that. The only real task he had was entertaining the crowd, which seemed easy enough, what with him being a "natural entertainer" and all. Sure, the blue-clad Goth _had_ denied him the title for nearly three years now, but he was determined to make her to admit it… eventually… probably… hopefully… maybe…!

''So far, so good.'' Cyborg mumbled as he watched the changeling blow kisses at the crowd as he sat down on the couch, earning him even more cheers and fangirl-screams.

_''We love you, BB!''_

_''Call me!''_

_''Show us your abs!''_

''The little dude's gettin' popular!'' Cyborg chuckled at the screen, his voice all hoarse because of the flu. ''Better watch himself around those fangirls, am I right?''

Robin just sniffled in response. Out of all the bedridden Titans, the boy wonder was undoubtedly having the hardest time dealing with his flu. Raven had a more advanced immune system than regular humans and Cyborg was about 75% robot, therefore they weren't affected by the sickness as much as their unfortunate leader. Then again, he _did_ have Starfire to nurse him in the most loving way she could, so he didn't complain. (Until she tried to feed him porridge made out of cough-medicine and flu-pills, that is.)

''Raven, you know what I'm talkin' about, right?'' Cyborg turned and grinned at the Goth.

''Indeed.'' Raven scowled at the screen, sending mental lightning-bolts at the screaming fans. ''They can be _quite_ the annoyance!''

''Jealous much?'' Cyborg quipped, wagging his eyebrows at her.

''I AM _NOT_ JEALOUS!'' the empath snapped, teeth sharpened and eyes burning, seemingly _growing_ into a wild beast while making the metal-man shrink on the couch before her.

''Sch!'' Robin and Starfire hushed.

''I'm just stating a fact.'' Raven continued, regaining her stoic composure surprisingly quick. ''It's okay to admire someone, just so long as you keep it at an _appropriate level_.''

''And with BB, that would be…?'' Cyborg asked cheekily.

''Let's just say…'' Raven did a dramatic pause as she took another sip of tea. ''…Try _living_ with the kid for a week and we'll see just how much you'll want to idolize him then!''

Cyborg just chuckled at the Goth's dry quip, a knowing grin glued to his face. The changeling had always (officially) been a constant thorn in the pale girl's side. Still, they _had_ had their fair share of moments and were actually pretty close- _intimate_ even -even though it didn't always seem that way. Cyborg had even suspected an affectionate bond between the two for quite some time now, though always ending in denial from both parts. Of course, that hadn't stopped him from teasing them about it and he wasn't about to give up on his theory just yet.

''So it isn't that you _miss_ him, then?'' the robotic stud continued to tease, knowing very well where this would lead. Laughter… then pain.

''My heab hurts, I can'th zleep because I zneese so much, my noze is dribbin'…'' Raven listed, pausing briefly to blow said dripping nose, ''…and I can't concentrate enough to levitate a _tissue_! Having Beast boy out of the tower is the _one, good thing_ that has happened to me all day!''

''Fine! Deny it if you want!'' Cyborg shrugged. ''But I've seen they way you two leave the tower with only 5 minute gaps between, no doubt going off somewhere to have a romantic little date and get all lovey-dovey with each other~!''

_''Cyborg…!''_ the pale Goth growled, fighting to contain her building rage.

_''Ooooh! Smooch, smooch, smooch_~_!''_ Cyborg teased and made a kissy-face at her dark, flaming figure. (Robin and Starfire were now hiding behind the couch.)_ ''Smoo-''_

''GYAAAAAAAAAHH!''

_***CRASH!***_

_''Smoooooooooch~__!''_ Cyborg's final, desperate tease slowly faded away as he sailed down towards the shore, the remains of the broken window gleaming around him in the dim, February sunlight…

* * *

**And _that_ concludes the first chapter of my collab. I hope it was entertaining and- more importantly -made any sense whatsoever. I seem to be doubting my basic writing-skills very much lately, it'd be GREAT if you could clear my doubts in a review! Or confirm them, whichever you feel like...!**

**Anyways, the next chapter is already finished and will be uploaded as soon as I get back from my trip to jolly, good ol' England. (More info in my journal.) The collaboration-work will begin (and end) in the next chapter. Again, many thanks for the great suggestions, guys. You rock! God bless!**


	2. The show must go on

**Important info on my profile, read it after finishing this chapter. God bless!**

* * *

_***Brrip, brrip, brrip!***_

''Oh! Is that urgent?'' the hostess asked and pointed at Beast boy's chirping communicator.

''Hold on, lemme check!'' Beast boy flipped open the screen and examined the alert. ''Nah! Just some domestic violence at the tower, we're used to it!''

''Oh, I… see.'' the hostess lied and smiled, masking her confusion. _'And people call __**me**__ ignorant…?'_

Quickly regaining her cheery hostess-persona, the lively blonde turned towards the camera once more, ''Well, as I was saying: our chat-room is now open for viewers to send in their questions to the guest. Take the chance while you still got it, folks! It's not every day a Teen Titan is on the show!''

'_Is this chick just very happy, or is her face stuck like that? It looks kinda' painful...!'_ Beast boy thought to himself as he smiled at the crowd, waiting for the hostess to move on with the show. _'And Raven calls __**me**__ overkill...?'_

''Oh! Looks like we have our first e-mail!'' the cheery blond suddenly declared happily, snapping the changeling back to reality.

''Huh?! Already?'' Beast boy asked bewildered, earning him a couple of laughs from the audience.

''This first one's from "Stella Bella 123".'' the hostess read on the laptop in front of her. ''And her question is: _"What is your favorite animal to transform into?"_.''

''Oooh! That's a tricky one...!'' the changeling smiled as he leaned back to think. After a few seconds of deep consideration he opened his eyes again and turned to the camera. ''Well, you know, who doesn't like to fly, right? So I'd probably have to say some sort of bird!''

''Cool!'' the hostess smiled. ''Any special kind of bird?''

''No, I… don't think so.'' Beast boy answered after a moment of hesitation, leaning back on the couch with his arms crossed in a nonchalant manner. ''If not a bird, I'd probably say a horse! Ladies _love_ horses!''

The green teen's proclamation was immediately met by a wave of fangirl-screams.

''And I can see why ladies love you!'' the hostess laughed before she finally continued, ''Alright then... The next question is from a certain "Mr. Nuked Duck".''

''Yeah... Wait! Mr. what-now?'' Beast boy asked and double-checked the computer-screen. _'Well, __**that's**__ the stupidest name I've ever heard!'_

''And his question is: _"What's the most difficult thing about being a shapeshifter?"._''

''Oh, that's just gotta be the colds!'' Beast boy answered without almost any hesitation, smiling as he turned to the hostess. ''You see, when I sneeze, I tent to have a bit of difficulty staying in one form. As you can probably imagine, this can be a pretty disastrous condition, considering some of the things I can turn into!''

''I can only imagine!'' the hostess laughed along with the audience.

''Yeah, so get this:'' Beast boy grinned cheekily as he turned towards the camera. ''So I'm in the bathroom one chilling winter-day in December, I've got a cold, and I feel like taking a hot shower to warm up a little...''

* * *

''Oh, no...!'' Raven immediately announced as she foresaw where this was going.

_''So just as I step into the shower, I suddenly feel a sneeze coming on...''_

''Please don't...!'' she begged silently as she watched the changeling grin stupidly on the TV-screen.

_''And- hehe!''_ the changeling chuckled at his mental image, the audience and hostess eagerly awaiting the finish. _''Have you ever tried to fit an elephant into a shower?''_

''My ceiling leaked water for over _two days_...!'' Raven mumbled bitterly to herself as she buried her blushing face in her blanket to the sound of the TV-audience laughing their asses off.

_''Our plumber couldn't believe his eyes!''_ Beast boy laughed along to the stupid story, causing even more laughs to erupt.

''Neither could _I_ when I saw the repair-bill...!'' Robin scowled to himself as he huddled up even further in Starfire's warming embrace. Raven just mourned...

* * *

''Okay, then...!'' the hostess spoke breathlessly as she wiped her eyes clean from tears, swallowing her last giggle before finally moving on to the next question, ''The next question is from someone called "Tinman0516".''

_'Tinman?'_ Beast boy suddenly twitched in surprise and turned to look at the laptop. _'Isn't that Cyborg's-?'_

''He writes...'' the hostess interrupted the changeling's thought. ''..._"Admit it, green bean! You and..._'' the hostess paused for a second, puzzled over what the next part of the message meant.''..._Rae(?)... are so totally into each other. I bet all you ever do is sit in the park and make out with each_-'' The hostess stopped and looked confused at the laptop. ''I- I don't... The message just stops!''

_***Brrip, brrip, brrip!***_ Beast boy's communicator started chirping again, signaling more domestic violence.

_'Sounds like Raven found Cy...!' _Beast boy thought to himself with a smirk, rolling his eyes amused at the thought. _'Poor Cy. He just never knows when to quit!'_

_''Ehrm!''_ the hostess cleared her throat. ''Probably just some misspelling troll! Moving on to the next question!'' she cheered as she scrolled on her laptop and clicked up another massage, reading it out loud, ''So, "Darkflames and fire" wants to know...!''

* * *

"_Are the rumors about you and Raven true?"_.''

''...''

''...''

''HUH?!''

* * *

**Again, many thanks to my two _awesome_ collaborators! You totally hit your head on the nail when you sent me that question, DF! I had originally planned on using it with my own name but this gave me an opportunity to make another joke instead, so thanks! And SB, your questions were awesome! Thank you for working so diligently to help me make this! Much love, guys! You rock!**


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